I love… ME!
That may sound funny or narcissistic. But I am serious. I love ME and so must you.
That is not bluster. I do love myself so I take care of my physical and mental well-being. I get enough sleep at night, exercise regularly and keep close watch of my weight.
I don’t follow a strict diet, though, but I practice moderation. My diet is typically Asian, sparse on meat, plenty of vegetables and fruits.
I give my mental muscles a daily workout equivalent to an hour of pumping irons in the gym.
Despite the above, not is everything is cozy between I and me. There are days when the spirit is willing but the body is weak. I am sure you experience the same episodes, too.
It is called psychological incompatibility.
Psychological incompatibility and self-love:
What no one tells you about is that psychological incompatibility is not only among couples. It can be experienced by live-alone seniors, too.
In fact, seniors are more prone to it because of loneliness, financial insecurity and medical problems – the three most common concerns of the elderly.
Any of them can stress self-love. They can make you irritable, tense of stress out.
They can make you despondent, discouraged, disappointed, and disgusted with yourself.
Financial insecurity, for example, limits your choices to what you can afford. It limits your socialization, your choice of food, entertainment and many other things you would have wanted to enjoy but couldn’t.
These age-related issues make self-love doubtful, if not impossible to achieve. They render you helpless and incapable of making the right decisions, of doing something fruitful and enjoyable; they keep you from enjoying your retirement.
Another stumbling block to self-love is loneliness. For a live-alone senior, it is my constant companion. It consumes you, makes you feel lazy and without purpose.
Loneliness, if unchecked, can cause serious medical problems like melancholia, depression, and dementia. It can even make you entertain thought of suicide.
Self-love is not optional:
Love is the overarching purpose of life – of self and others. Loving others is impossible without loving self. Too much love of self creates self-centeredness which is as bad as not loving self.
Louise Hay, an American motivational speaker and author posited the idea of self-laugh by saying,
“When people start to love themselves more each day, it’s amazing how their lives get better. They feel better. They get the jobs they want. They have the money they need. Their relationships either improve, or the negative ones dissolve and new ones begin.”
Loving yourself requires careful evaluation of your core beliefs and values; of knowing who and what you are. It also requires the willingness to change for the better.
Doing that is easy through these simple steps…
1. Accept yourself unconditionally:
Some people profess to love themselves only after having achieved an imagined goal, i.e. health, wealth, good looks, marry the woman of his dreams or build his dream house.
It won’t work because they may not happen or something comes in the way that alters the course of events of your life.
Accepting yourself outright removes its conditionality. It lifts a heavy load off your chest; makes you more optimistic about everything around you.
It gives you a clearer idea of where you are and where you want to go and a better understanding and acceptance of the difficulties up ahead.
You become self-aware and appreciate your values as a person.
2. Take the journey alone:
You are responsible for the choices you make, no one else. If you screw up don’t blame others for the mess you are in.
More often than not, we blame so many things for our misfortunes, i.e., our up-bringing, our circumstances, the people around us, our looks and many other things. We even blame the stars we were born under.
Not owning up mistakes will just make you miserable, bitter and pessimistic. It will stop you from giving it another go for fear of failing again.
Nobody ever succeeded the first time around. Everybody has experienced the bitter taste of failure and defeat.
Those who love themselves just brushed off their butts each time they fell, got up and continued the race. They believe they can take anything life throws at them and win. And they do.
Those who don’t are the losers and will continue to lose until they come to grips with the ugly reality that their misfortunes are their own doing.
3. Start loving yourself now:
“You may delay, but time will not, and lost time will never be found again.” – Benjamin Franklin
If you want to start loving yourself, start now, not tomorrow, next day or next week.
Time waits for no man and you could never imagine your lost opportunities by not taking yourself seriously now.
Starting now, make this your mantra, “I love… Me.”
As crazy as it seems you could never make anything with your life if you don’t. Conversely, the world is your limit if you do.
Self-love is a choice by default. Meaning, you could never have it any other way if you want to live a happy, healthy and successful life.